So you have found out you are pregnant and you are not in a position to raise a baby. What will you do? At first you do not know what to do, but then after much thought you decide adoption is best for you and your baby. You have decided on adoption because you love your baby and you do not feel you can give him or her all that they need or all that you want for them.
You begin learning and exploring about adoption and as you do you realize that you are making a choice you can feel good about. You will be able to make someone’s dream of being a parent come true and you will be able to know you gave your baby the gift of life and the gift of a family that you have chosen. You feel it is a good and selfless choice, and you start taking steps to create an adoption plan.
Once you have made the choice you may begin to tell the people close to you that you are considering giving your baby up for adoption. You tell them and hope that they will offer you support and make the decision easier. If you are lucky the people in your life will understand and support your decision. Women who find this support have a much easier time getting through the pregnancy.
Do not be surprised if the people in your life do not understand. Those who have not walked in your shoes, or dealt with the hardships you are facing may not understand. Women who choose adoption often have to deal with a lack of understanding and a lack of sensitivity. People may say things that are hurtful such as “How can you give your baby away? Or why would you ever do that? Unfortunately adoption is a very misunderstood choice. People are not educated about adoption and their lack of knowledge can cause them to say hurtful things.
If you find yourself facing insensitive people, it may simply mean that you need to educate them, explain why you feel adoption is the right choice for you and share the information you have. If you have selected a family share the family profile. Tell them why you picked the family and you can even offer to involve them in the process. Most adopting parents are willing to meet your family and friends if you want them to. People often come around once they really understand why you made your choice and how adoption works.
If the people in your life do not come around there is plenty of help and support available. You will receive counseling from an adoption social worker. The social worker can be there to offer you emotional support throughout your pregnancy. Adoption social workers can help you sort through all of your emotions and can prepare you for some you may not even know you will have. They will provide an ear and a place where you can express all of your feelings and emotions without judgment.
Support can also come from the adoptive parents you choose. Often times and incredible bond will form between you and the adoptive parents. This is often unexpected but it can be and incredibly supportive and nurturing relationship.
The key is to know what is right for you and your baby and then draw the support you need.